With cartoon #24, It's crime fightin' time!
COPS hit syndication in the fall of 1988 from DIC Animation. Realizing crime was out of hand, Empire City Mayor Davis requests federal assistance. Special Agent Baldwin P. Vess is sent to help stop Big Boss Babel and his crew, but is severely injured in a car wreck (he made out better than Officer Alex Murphy!). The only way to save his life was a with a cybernetic bulletproof torso. Realizing he can't do it alone, Vess, now codenamed Bulletproof (as in Bulletproff Vess! Yes, this show is full of puns) forms the Central Organization of Police Specialists bringing in the best of the best in law enforcement agents from around the country, or basically the animated Village People.
But whats better than that intro? Toys! Toys! Toys! Why else make a cartoon in the 80's unless it's to sell toys?
See? Cybernetic, baby! It's science! The future's so bright...if only we all live to see that day!
Alongside Buletproof were:
PJ "Longarm" O'Malley of Empire City's Finest (he's a cop so he has to be Irish, right?)
Mutt and Junkyard, er, I mean, Bowser Pointer and his robot dog Rex from Chicago PD:
Walker "Sundown" Calhoun, Texas Sheriff--yeehaw!:
Sgt. "Mace" Howard from the Philly PD (pretty sure that big hand was for catching batteries that people threw at him):
Highway Harlson of the California Highway Patrol (wonder if he knew Ponch?):
Stan "Barricade" Hyde of Detroit Metro Riot Control:
Also you had Susie" Mirage" Young of the SFPD (no figure ever made), Donny "Hardtop" Brooks, Hugh "Bullseye" Forward Miami PD, Tina "Mainframe" Cassidy, Robert "A.P.E.S." Waldo Boston PD, Roger "Airwave" Wilco LAPD, Francis "Inferno" Devlin SF Fire Dept., Max "Nightstick" Muluklai Alaska PD (just kidding, Honolulu PD), Hy "Taser" Watts Seattle PD (stop, you're killing me with these puns!), and Wayne "Checkpoint" Sneeden, and if that name sounds vaguely familiar it might be because the COPS filecards were written by a certain someone named Larry Hama, and Checkpoint's file card states that his father "was a member of a top-secret military team in the ’80s and ’90s".
Yo Joe!
The main feature of the toys were that they all came with caps. No, not baseball hats, caps!
But heroes are only as good as their villains and in Empire City it got no worse than Brandon "Big Boss" Babel (sounding an awful lot like early Chief Wiggum doing Edward G. Robinson.
And bringing the trouble with Big Boss were his cybernetically enhanced crooks like Buttons McBoomBoom (just an awesome name!), Berserko, Ms. Demeanor (her actual name is Stephanie Demeanor, and she's single and ready to mingle, boys!), Doctor Badvibes, Nightshade, Turbo Tu-tone (I don't think he was related to Tommy but Mean Gene Okerlund says you can call 867-5309 and find out!), Koo-Koo the bombmaker (a descendat of Crazy Harry?), Rock Krusher, and Hyena wih his own henchmen Bullitt and Louie the Plumber (no, he didn't sell crack, he's a plumber, so seeing his crack is just a free bonus}.
I can't even speak much on the cartoon because I don't remember it that well. I mean, I remember it being on, and I know I watched it, but nothing beyond the intro really jogs my memory. By then I was heavily invested in Nintendo games and didn't sit down to watch shows regularly like I may've just a few short years earlier. Who has time for cartoons when SuperMario Bros. 2 just came out? But what an intro! I think it's a lot like GI Joe the movie as in if only the show was as great as that intro.
GI Joe the movie opening credits? Amazing. The movie itself? Eh.
Seriously, if they could've stretched that out into 80 minutes you would've had something, but Burgess Meredith and his whacky bug and snake people, sigh...not so much.
But I digress. COPS took place way off in the future, I'm talking way way off in the distant future of...<checks notes>... 2020? Oops. I dont get why shows hold themselves to dates so close. I mean, sure in 1988 the year 2020 seemed far off, but here we are and there it went and I ain't seen nothing on the news about torso transplants (unless there's an update on George Hodel). With Back to the Future II you had to stay relatively close to 1985 because you needed Marty to meet his progeny in the future, so 2015 makes sense (Back to the Future was 30 years into the past so BFII was 30 into the future) but if you're making a cartoon about a futuristic police, why not make it 2120? 2220? None of us will live to see that day. None of us will be alive in the 25th century to say, nope,Go-go boots and opened-shirted hairy-chested men didn't make a comeback, Buck. But if Erin Gray is there, then drop me in a time warp...
See, Robocop got it right. Robocop takes place "in the near future" so when is that? Who knows, but there's still time to see if Detroit becomes a crime ridden hellhole. Oh, wait...
Anyways, COPS even had a fairly decent DC Comic back in the day that ran 15 issues
Nooooooooooooooo! Not Rex! Damn you, Anti-Monitor!
COPS the show aired for two "volumes" (each episode was treated like a case file, entitled "The case of..." and then the show would end with Bulletproof saying, "Case Closed") for 65 episodes. It would also return in 1993 on CBS for Saturday mornings but was renamed CyberCOPS to avoid confusion with the Fox show that had since begun airing (bad boys, bad boys, whatchagunna do?).
But what I'll remember most about COPS is the toys. I think they were one of the last toylines I really liked as a kid. I remember having several cops including Barricade, Mace (who also spent time as a baseball player from the future--c'mon, look at that glove and tell me you don't see it!), Highway, Longarm, and I remember having Buttons McBoomBoom (awesome name!) and Krusher. They were cool looking toys, and the caps were a neat feature. Until you ran out of caps, and then it was, "Mom, I need more caps" and if you didn't get more caps they weren't quite as fun. But man, I'll tell ya, there's nothing like the smell of a just busted cap, the little wiggle of smoke rising and that smell of flashed sulphur. I've bought cap guns for my kids when I've come across them, and boy they bring back the memories. Both types. You had the ring of caps for guns, and then those rolled up red sheets of fun! Kids today just don't know, amirite? When you snipe someone in Fortnite where's the sweet aroma of destruction?
Plus you could bang on caps with a rock like a monkey and still have fun! Try that with a $70 controller. Oh oh, grandpa, tell me 'bout the good ol' days.
I'd love to see someone make some COPS figures for collectors these days. I'd certainly be interested if they weren't insanely expensive. Aesthetically, I think the designs hold up and look great.
Sadly, in our current climate I don't think we'll see a kids cartoon about the police or toys for them anytime soon, and that's a shame. Hell, they're making overpriced Silverhawks toys right now and for my money, COPS was a much better toyline, but at least you can get the entire series on DVD.
Or get it on VHS!
That was worth it just to see the intro again.
COPS may've just been the second best "Cop" show of it's day.